review paper draft 1 to final draft

Here is the comments were written by professor:

Comments:

Your topic is acceptable, but your paper is unacceptable because your argument is weak.

Neda Sahranavard, Nov 29 at 9:33pm

Please revise your paper for grammar and MLA format.

the pdf document is the essay and the comment by professor.

and here is the prompt:

Describe a historical (or current) event in which an individual or a group of people spoke up and

argue whether it had (or will have) positive and/or negative effects on society.

In crafting your response, consider

how

(through speech, writing, action, demonstration, etc.)

and

why

the individual or group spoke up and analyze the societal consequences (good, bad,

expected, unexpected, familiar, unprecedented, small, large) it brought about.

While writing your paper, you may find it helpful to refer to the following chapters in

Knowing

Language

: Chapter 3 (Argumentative Writing), Chapter 11 (Using Sources in Academic

Writing), Chapter 12 (Writing Cohesively), Chapter 13 (Revising, Editing, and Polishing Your

Writing)

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