Toulmin Essay

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Online Dating Services – Chronology and Key Features

Comparison with Traditional Dating

Azad I. Ali, Indiana University of Pennsylvania

Kustim Wibowo, Indiana University of Pennsylvania

 

 

 

ABSTRACT

 

Online dating services have become increasingly and widely used for large mix of populations. Despite numerous stigmas

attached to the people who are seeking such dating services, these kind of online dating services –it seems- are here to stay.

The number of people who are seeking these services is on the rise, and the figure for businesses and web sites that open for

this purpose is increasing as well. But how did we get into this state of web sites and how does it compare with old time

traditional dating. This paper gives perspectives on these kinds of dating services and provides a comparisonto what used to

be practiced before (we call it here traditional dating services). The paper starts by giving an introduction and a brief history

of online dating services. It then delves more into the different categories of these services, their key features, and then it

tabulates these key features with what used to be offered in old style traditional dating.

 

Keywords: Online dating services, Dating online, Tabulation of online dating service, Categories of online dating service

 

 

INTRODUCTION

 

Dating online has emerged lately to be a popular tool for meeting other people online and to establish a relationship (Orr,

2004). This kind of business has experienced substantial growth in terms of the profits that they are generating, in terms of

the membership and the people who are using it, and also in terms of the number of businesses that are offering these

services.

 

In terms of profits from online dating services, Mitchell (2009) provides evidence of the extensive growth of this kind

business and states that online dating web sites constitute the third most profitable kinds of business on the web. The list

below shows the most profitable of online business categories:

 

Top Online Paid Content Sites in 2008 by Category ($ in millions)

 

Digital music $1,732

Video games $1,866

Dating $957

 

To show the increasing number of people who are using these kinds of services, Gunter (2008) conducted a survey on some

30,000 online respondents in the UK. More than 3800 responded to the survey questions about the extent of their use of

online dating services. The following numbers were extracted from this survey:

 

– 29% said they used online dating services at least once – 30% spent more than 200 British pounds on dating online – 70% achieved at least one date – 43% achieving at least one sexual relationship – 9% found a marriage partner

 

 

 

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The number of businesses that are providing such services is on the rise also. Marsan (2008) estimated that there are about

800-plus online dating services. This number is expected to increase and also new categories of this business are emerging.

But what drives this kind of growth and how do they compare in their key features with traditional dating? This paper intends

to give answers to these questions. It first gives a chronology and description of online dating services and then compares

their key features with similar features in traditional dating methods.

 

The remainder of this paper is divided into four sections. First, the paper gives a chronology and description of online

services in terms of history, categories, membership, and reasons for growth. Second, a description of the key features in

terms of pros and cons is given in the next section. Third, key features of online dating services are compared and tabulated

with traditional dating methods. Last, the paper presents a summary and suggestion for future study.

 

 

ONLINE DATING SERVICES – CHRONOLOGY AND DESCRIPTION

 

There are different factors that have contributed to the start and growth of online dating services. Also, there are different

categories and procedures for membership of these services. This section gives a chronology and description of online dating

services. It give a brief history, analyses the reasons that have ontributed to their growth, it elaborates on the membership

process, and discusses the different categories of online dating services.

Online Dating Services – A Brief History

Similar to the development of any service of this magnitude, online dating services went through different development

steps, and various ideas and factors contributed to their evolution and development. Brainz (2100) gave an overview of the

history of online dating as explained in the following:

 

The Internet was being used for dating almost from day one. Even before the Web itself was created, bulletin board

services and newsgroups played host to a variety of Internet dating activities, many of them unintended. In addition

to newsgroups and forums created for posting of personal ads, similar to what was going on in newspapers at the

time, locals were meeting in city-oriented rooms and people with similar interests were meeting and becoming

attached in forums of similar interest.

 

Much of this was spurred on by the Internet service providers themselves. Services such as Prodigy and America

Online offered chat rooms and forums for singles and heavily advertised these features. Because of this, even before

the Web became widely used, the Internet had a robust, if technically limited, dating culture.

The first major Internet dating Web site is widely held to be the combination of kiss.com and match.com, which

were both registered by the same person in 1994 and 1995 respectively. Though there were other dating sites at the

time, most focused on international dating and had more in common with “mail order bride” services than the dating

sites we know today.

 

However, from there, the market quickly exploded. By 1996 there were 16 dating Web sites listed in Yahoo!, which

was a directory at the time, and other powerhouses such as Friendfinder.com and OneandOnly.com had already

started up.

 

In 1998, Internet dating got a cultural boost with the release of the movie “You’ve Got Mail”. The movie, which

reunited “Sleepless in Seattle’s” Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, focused on two business rivals who hated each other in

person but fell in love over the Web. Though the movie didn’t focus on Internet dating directly, it put meeting

someone on the Web in a positive light and showcased the Web as a tool for bringing people together, even those

who don’t like each other in the physical world.

 

Riding on a wave of growing public acceptance, Match.com and OneandOnly.com were acquired by Ticketmaster

Online-Citysearch for an undisclosed sum. This legitimacy caused the major Internet players, including both

Yahoo! and AOL, to work on their personal/dating section. During the dot-com boom of the late 90s and early

2000s, there were several other high-profile dating site acquisitions

 

 

 

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However, as with most budding Web businesses, the dot com crash in 2001/2002 brought much of the frenzy to an

end and changed the online world. However, for dating sites, the change came more from the launch of Friendster

and Myspace in 2002. With those sites, the idea of online “social networking” was born and online dating was a

byproduct of that. People could meet potential boyfriends or girlfriends on the Web without going to a site

dedicated to the cause. Social networking carried with it a much smaller stigma, since it is also used by those not

seeking a partner at all.

 

But despite this wave of social networking, which included the founding of Facebook in 2004, online dating has

continued to thrive. In 2007, Americans spent over $500 million on online dating, making it the second highest

industry for “paid content” on the Web, behind pornography.

 

However, the current online dating climate is one of balkanization. Currently the market has been segmented out to

an ever larger number of sites focused on an ever-smaller niche audiences. Currently, there are sites for virtually

every city, every sexual orientation, every desired relationship, every religion, every race and almost every hobby.

 

The end result is that, according to Online Dating Magazine, nearly 20 million people visit at least one online dating

site every month and 120,000 marriages every year take place, at least in part, due to online dating.

 

In 2002, Wired Magazine predicted that, “Twenty years from now, the idea that someone looking for love won’t

look for it online will be silly, akin to skipping the card catalog to instead wander the stacks because ‘the right books

are found only by accident.'”

 

The prediction does not seem to be that far off as it is exactly where we are heading with both online dating and

social networking. (p. 1)

Online Dating Services – Categories

 

What started as a general online dating service conducted through web sites has evolved into a number of categories and

classifications. Each category provides either different kinds of services or offer the same service to different groups of

people depending on their religion, ethnic background, sexual orientation, or other categories.

 

To begin with, online dating services are different from online social services (Marsan, 2008). With online social services,

members create what is termed ―Avatars‖ and they can change their appearance to present themselves in any way they desire.

All the activities in these online social services are conducted online in virtual space. By joining these social services,

members can visit various virtual places like a museum in France, a movie theater in Italy, and a school in England. Members

can travel ―teleport‖ with other members to different parts of the virtual world (Mahfouz, Philaretou, & Theocharous, 2008).

They can for example chat and take a walk in a park in London, dine in a restaurant in Rome, or drive a car in Barcelona. It is

a virtual world and ―avatars‖ can do a lot of things in term of socialization. Members can also purchase property in the virtual

world, design it to their liking, and invite others to visit them in the virtual world.

 

The main purpose of online dating services is to match different members based on the list of preferred characteristics that

they listed in their profiles. Online dating services charge membership fees in general. The membership fee can be based on

monthly enrollment or it can be based on finding matches. Some online dating services provide these kinds of services for

free. But members who join these free online dating services may expect a lot of ads popping on their screens as they browse

through these online services. Some other online services offer free membership for some time (like a month) and expect to

charge afterward.

 

Online dating services can be based on the population it serves. While most online dating services are not restricted to a

single kind of population, some serve special population based on their religious beliefs, (like services for only Christians,

Jews, or Muslims). Nowadays, most religions have special online dating services specific to them. Other special categories

include married people looking for extramarital affairs. While most online dating services are for heterosexuals, there are

online dating services that are geared based on sexual orientation like for gays or lesbians, as well.

 

 

 

 

 

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The Process of Membership

The membership process in online dating services starts by creating a user name and password. That is followed by creating a

profile. The profile can be elaborate and can include questions about hobbies, interests, photos, videos, and others. It can also

include description of the self, such as height, weight, professional status, and others. The purpose of this profile is to use it to

introduce onself to others for the purpose of finding partners. Some may use a different name to protect their identity (Rao et

al., 2009).

At the same time, the profile includes characteristics of their desired partnera. This also may be elaborate and include a wide

range of questions. Members can sometimes include ―do not include‖ list in their desired profile as well. A tall person may

add to this list for example ―do not include below 5 ft.‖ from the character of preferred partners. Similarly, the person can

include height, weight, education level, religion of their preferred partners.

After providing the profile of their own and a desired partner profile, the online service presents to the member a list of

profiles based on their own database of members. If a person desires to pursue a relationship with anyone on the list, they can

do so by contacting them through the online service. This is done to protect anonymity at the beginning. Once a

communication is established at the beginning, the couple can further pursue a relationship on their own; they can give each

other their contact info and so on and meet or pursue other means of communication (Gould, 2010).

If a match cannot be found, the member can go back and search the individuals who are active in the database. The cycle

goes on again. If there is seemingly no match or if members can revise their profiles or the profiles of their desired partners,

the process continues the same.

Reasons for Growth

There are different factors that contribute to this kind of service being so widely used. Some of these factors are related to the

public perception of dating while others are more in connection with the changes that a modern life style has brought up, and

a third group of factors relates to technological advancements that made such communication online possible.

Orr (2004) recounted the days when dating and mating was widely limited to school and college environments and noted

―leaving a college without an engagement ring was sometimes thought worse than leaving without a degree‖. It has always

been the desire to meet and mate that drove people to create environments that help with meeting and dating. It was the

college environment first that helped with meeting and dating and then the working environment helped more. But changes in

life style rendered people to be more concerned about their profession and their desire to have profession security first that

pushed dating to a later stage of their life. This further pushed people to seek dating and mating in avenues other than

colleges, school, and work environments to places like singles clubs and bars.

The singles clubs and bars are not without faults of their own. First, going to these places means facing the kind of rejection

and stigma that many people do not like to face (Rosen et al., 2007). Second, travelling to these places and the environment

that the social clubs provide make it difficult to continue these events. Added to all of that, the competition for time that

modern life styles imposes on singles, make single bars less attractive to some.

Technological advancements and the creation of these online dating services came as a solution for some people who are

seeking relationship with others online. These online dating services provided the kind of environment most suitable for

dating. Brainz (2011) noted the following about the applicability of using the Internet for dating services:

Of course, the use of the Web to find romantic partners should surprise no one. Perhaps more than any other

revolution in communication, the use of the Web for dating makes sense. Not only does the Web allow us to

find people in our area, but it allows us to see, hear learn a great deal about them. With images, audio and

databases of personal data, the Web is not just a new way to meet others, but an incredibly efficient one. (p.1)

As technology advanced more and as the public perception of online dating started slowly to change, more and more people

resorted to this kind of dating service in their quest to meet, date, and mate, as well as seek other relationships. For the

purpose of this study and to clarify the extent of growth that online dating services are experiencing, we visited the web

sitehttp://www.top10bestdatingsites.com to see the membership in the top 10 list and other information. Figure 1 below

 

 

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shows the membership in the top 3 list, while figure 2 shows the remaining information for the remaining 7 of the top 10 list.

We found that there are about 80 million singles joining these online dating services.

 

FIGURE 1

Top 3 Online Dating Web Sites

 

 

FIGURE 2

Listing 3 – 10 of Top Ten Online Dating Web Sites

 

 

 

 

 

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ONLINE DATING SERVICES – KEY FEATURES

 

This section explains t the key features that stand for or against joining online dating service as opposed to other forms of

dating services (we call it here traditional methods). The section lists these features in terms of pros and cons that online

dating services provide.

 

Online Dating Services – Pros

 

There are different reasons that make online dating attractive to some. To begin with, simplicity and convenience may top the

reasons that make people join these services. Further, the fear of rejection or the the large numbers joining these sites and

thus potentially available to the member may push people to seek dating online instead.

 

In terms of simplicity and convenience, most consider online dating services to be simple and convenient to use. They do not

have to travel, make a reservation, or buy ticket in order to meet people. With a few clicks, they can read profiles, compare

them, and then decide to meet or not to meet specific members. Technology makes these kinds of web sites and their use a lot

easier, which enables a larger number of people to apply for these online dating services. It is thought for professional people

who are too busy and do not have time to make reservations, or wait in line for admission, that online dating services are

considered to be simple and convenient.

 

The fear of rejection for some people may push them to use online dating services as well. With online dating services, the

rejection is not felt as strongly. There can be ample communication between the partners before an invitatiom for a date or an

invitation to go out together. During the initial process, there is ample time to learn about each other, learning about each

others likes and dislikes, and to ascertain from the profile the appropriateness of a partner. In other words, there is sufficient

time to study whether the person will be rejected or not. The person can learn from the profile or from the initial contact if

there is a good chance of accepting invitation or not, thus minimizing the chances of rejection.

 

The increasing possibilities of available of partners may be deemed one possible reason for joining online dating services. It

seems the profile that the individual develops of himself/herself as well for their desired partners may dictate how many

people he/she find suitable to meet and date. Further, if the profile of the person is too restrictive and does not help in finding

partners, the person can always reduce the limitations to open a wider room for potential partners.

 

Online Dating Services – Cons

 

In addition to the pros that stand in favor of using online dating services, there are factors that stand against using these

services for meeting, dating, and mating. These stems from the possibility of providing false information in the profile of a

person. These factors can also relate to the fact that people who use these services may be located in widely different

locations of the world. A third group of factors that limits the use of these services is related to the cost of membership of

these services.

 

In terms of lying about profiles, a survey by one research revealed that a good number of people lie about their profile–

especially about their age, their height, and their income. A study that was conducted to find the most common characteristics

that people lie about in their profile is their height. The same study found that people lie also about their weight and their age

but to a less extent than their height. (Hancock, Toma, & Ellison, 2007). The nature of the membership and the process by

which it works to find others helps in hiding these ―lies.‖ A person can provide an older picture of himself/herself in the

profile and the potential partner will be up for a surprise when they meet for the first time face-to-face. A person may expect

a very young person based on the photo but at the time of meeting it turns that the person is much older than what he/she

presented in the photo of themselves in their profile (Whitty, 2008).

 

In terms of the location difficulty that some may face when meeting others online, it is noted that online dating services are

not location specific. This may create a problem for meeting partners once they decide to meet each other. An initial desire to

meet may be complicated by the distance of travel, arrangement for travel, obtaining visas, and other logistics that may make

future dating less desirable (Goodman and Churchill, 2007).

 

 

 

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Cost may be a big issue for some. While online dating services may provide different prices for their services, there is a

general understanding that it may cost a single person about $250 per year for only an annual subscription and nothing else.

Some dating services may charge monthly fees or they may charge based on the number of profiles that is provided to their

person. In other words, there is some kind of ―fixed‖ cost that is attached to joining online dating services. The cost may

become more of an issue if the person goes for an extended period without finding a partner. In this case, the person will pa y

more for renewing membership. Adding to this, the person may experience feelings of contempt for paying this much without

having successful dates. This may leave a bad taste in the person‘s memory regarding this kind online dating service. Other

costs may include establishing fast connections to the Internet and so on.

 

 

ONLINE DATING SERVICE – A COMPARISON AND SHORT TABULATION

 

This section tabulates and compares the features of online dating services with those that are offered in traditional dating

service (like singles clubs or bars). We call these ―traditional dating services‖ because they used to exist before online dating

services started (Rosen et al., 2007). Table 1 below provides this kind of comparison between the two types of dating

services. The six categories in this table are extracted from the previous section about the key features of online dating

services. In the third column, we list characteristics as we view how they are provided in traditional online methods.

 

TABLE 1

Comparison of Key Features between Online Dating and Traditional Dating Services

 

Feature Online Dating Service Traditional Dating Services

Convenience & simplicity Simple and convenient. Needs online

connection plus click and filling

online form

May require membership, travel to

different location and attend

different events

Fear of Rejection Not as strong. The fear of rejection

is not face-to-face, thus not felt as

strongly

May be strong especially if the

rejection happens in front of others

to make it worse

Abundance of people to meet The abundance is limited by the

profile that the person develops for

himself/herself and for their

potential partners

The abundance of people to meet is

restricted by the number of events,

meetings and other clubs that the

person attend

Lying about information Offer more room for lying on their

profile. They can hide it initially and

will not appear until the couple meet

Lying about weight, height and age

can be easily detected in meeting

face-to-face in traditional dating

Location far apart May become critical if meeting

people from far apart, like from

another city, state or country

Location less critical since they meet

face-to-face in clubs or other events

Cost There is a fixed cost of membership

plus any other costs that results from

meeting, dating and travelling

Cost is less critical. Usually no fixed

cost, but multiple entry cost for

attending events for the traditional

dating.

 

 

SUMMARY AND SUGGESTED FUTURE RESEARCH

 

This paper is about online dating services. The paper started by explaining online dating services and their growth in terms of

profits, membership, and numbers of businesses that offer such services. Then a chronology of online dating services in terms

of history, categories, and reasons for growth was discussed. The focus was shifted then to the key features of online dating

services in terms of the factors that stand for using these services (pros) or factors that stand against using these services

(cons). Last, the paper introduced a tabulation comparing online dating services with traditional dating methods from the six

features listed in the pros and cons.

 

 

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While working on this paper, we briefly mentioned online social services as they are distinguished from online dating

services. Online social services are emerging to be strong in the social environment. We deemed that a comparison of these

types of services (online dating service VS online social services) to be beneficial. Thus, this contrast between the two types

of online services will be a topic of research in our future paper.

 

 

REFERENCES

 

Brainz. (2011). History of online dating. Retrieved July 18, 2011, from http://brainz.org/history-online-dating

Goodman, E., S., & Churchill, E. S. (2007). After the match: Mobility and first dates. Proceedings of the 2007 Conference on

Designing for User eXperiences, 2 -8. Retrieved 28 December 2010, from ACM Digital Library: http://www.acm.org/dl

Gould, E. (2010). True match. How doesn the matching dlgorithm of the popular dating service suggest potential mates?

Technology Review, 113 (1),73-75.

Gunter, B. (2008). Internet dating: A British survey. Aslib Proceedings, 60 (2), 88-98.

Hancock, J., T., Toma, C., & Ellison, N. (2007).The truth about lying in online dating profiles. Proceedings of the SIGCHI

Conference on Human factors in Computing Systems, 449-452. Retrieved 28 December 2010, from ACM Digital

Library: http://www.acm.org/dl

Mahfouz, A.Y., Philaretou, A. G.,& Theocharous, A. (2008). Virtual social interactions: Evolutionary, social psychological

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Marsan, C. D. (2008).The hottest trends in online dating. Expect more avatars, seniors and cheapskates but fewer scammers.

NetworkWorld.

Mitchell, R.L. (2009). Online dating: It’s bigger than porn. Retrieved 20 June 2011, from

http://blogs.computerworld.com/online_dating_its_bigger_than_porn

Orr, A. (2004). Meeting, mating and cheating. Sex, love and the new world of online dating. Upper Saddle Rivers, NJ:

Reuters Prentice Hall.

Rao, S, Hurlbutt, T., Nass, C., &JanakiRam, N. (2009). My dating site thinks I’m a loser: Effects of personal photos and

presentation intervals on perceptions of recommender systems. Proceedings of the 27th International Conference on

Human Factors in Computing Systems, 221-224.Retrieved 28 December 2010, from ACM Digital Library:

http://www.acm.org/dl

Rosen, L. D., Cheever, N.A., Cummings, C., & Felt, J. (2007).The impact of emotionality and self-disclosure on online

dating versus traditional dating. Computers in Human Behavior 24 (5), 2124-2157.

The top 10 online dating sites of 2011 (2011). Retrieved 22 July, 2011, from http://www.top10bestdatingsites.com.

Whitty, M. T. (2008). Revealing the ‗real‘ me, searching for the ‗actual‘ you: Presentations of self on an internet dating site.

Computers in Human Behavior, 24, 1707-723.

 

 

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