3. Recommend at least one resource that a family might use to learn about an aspect of child development or parenting. Please include an APA citation, summary of the resource, and a rationale of how it supports positive development.Roles Parents Play
3-1a. The Parent as Nurturer
The nurturing Encouraging, supporting, caring, nourishing. role encompasses all the affectionate care, attention, and protection that young children need to grow and thrive. This implies caring for the physical needs of children before and after birth, but perhaps the greatest needs for healthy development are emotional support and caring. Being a nurturer is the parent’s primary role in providing a psychological environment of warm, emotional interaction in which the child can thrive (see Figure 3-1). Nurturing involves most of the family’s developmental tasks, as listed in Figure 3-2. Researchers have found important correlations between warm and responsive parenting in infancy, including close physical contact between parent and baby and attention to needs, and the development of attachment The strong, affectionate, mutual tie formed in the first two years following birth and enduring over time , which is defined as the strong, affectional, mutual tie formed in the two years following birth and enduring over time (see Figure 3-3). Attachment is felt to be critical to optimum development in every other aspect of development. The basis for differences in behavior and development related to attachment may be that a positive attachment relationship offers the child a secure base from which to venture forth to explore the world and learn how to interact. Older, school-aged children with whom teachers work are still the product of the quality of that earlier attachment.
3-1b. The Parent in Adult Relationships
Parents are people first, and there is evidence that those who are fulfilled and contented as individuals are better able to function effectively as parents than those who are disappointed in their personal lives. It is evident that the support one parent gives to the other facilitates the development of the parenting role as well as optimizing conditions for nurturing the child. Forty-eight percent of mothers report that their spouse or partner is the primary source for emotional support for parenting. Although the primary adult relationship may be with a marriage partner or cohabiting adult, the adult’s life may be crisscrossed with a network of adult relationships—parents, friends, and former spouses. In fact, many parents also help arrange for their own parents’ health or living conditions and must make complicated arrangements with former spouses to share custody and negotiate financial matters. The relationship with one’s child is an extremely important relationship, but it begins in the context of relationships with other adults.
Before an individual becomes a parent, there is first a relationship with another adult. One of the demands on a parent is to foster the continuance of that relationship or of another that may have replaced the original relationship.
One of the long-standing myths surrounding parenthood is that children give meaning to a marriage, improve the relationship between a couple, help a troubled relationship, and actually prevent divorce. In fact, the addition of parenthood roles to a marriage introduces a time of abrupt transition. Many researchers report this as a time of some degree of crisis. The severity of the crisis may depend on the degree of a couple’s preparation for parenthood and marriage, the degree of commitment to the parenthood role, and patterns of communication. Whether or not the transition is a time of severe crisis, a couple is unquestionably going to have to reorganize their relationship and interactions; changes will occur in a marriage with an altered lifestyle and the addition of new role images and behaviors associated with parenthood (see Figure 3-8). Nora Ephron wrote: “When you have a baby, you set off an explosion in your marriage, and when the dust settles, your marriage is different from what it was. Not better, necessarily; not worse, necessarily; but different” (Ephron, 2013).
3-1c. The Parent as an Individual
Americans have come to value the development of the individual person. We are now aware that this personal development is a lifelong process. Parents concerned with nurturing their children’s development are also encountering growth in their own lives.
It is relevant for teachers to consider how Erikson’s theory examines the psychosocial tasks of adulthood that must be resolved. Many young parents are preoccupied with issues of identity. Erikson speaks of this as the fifth stage, beginning in adolescence. With the prolonging of education and financial dependence on parents and with the confusing multiplicity of roles, careers, and lifestyles from which to select, many identity issues are still being actively worked on in young adulthood. One measure of this may be the postponing of marriage—perhaps seen as an entry step into the adult world and a sign that a young person has settled some issues and is ready to embark on adult life. The events of marriage and parenthood cause many young people to reexamine identity issues as they take on two roles symbolic of adult life. It is not just real-life events that have to be assimilated into an individual’s self-concept but also expectations and attitudes from within the individual and from society that set the standards used to measure the new view of self. There are several problems here. One is that most of today’s parents grew up with daily facts of life and social role expectations that are radically different from those of the present.
Many mothers find their self-esteem being attacked—whether they have chosen to fill the traditional role of homemaker or have joined the majority of mothers working outside the home. “In the national conversation we have been having in this country about work and family life, having a working mother alternates between being seen as being either good or bad for the children” (Galinsky, 2000).
In what Galinsky refers to as the “mommy wars,” at-home mothers feel they are being dismissed and devalued, and they resent having to “pick up the slack” as classroom volunteers or emergency child care for mothers who have chosen to work. At all income levels, stay-at-home mothers report more sadness, anger, and episodes of diagnosed depression than their employed counterparts (Coontz, 2013). Working mothers feel the stress of having to succeed on two fronts. The media continue to subtly indict working mothers for increasing family stress and sacrificing their children for materialism and success now that they have added to their traditional roles. Working mothers are themselves caught in conflict and ambivalence. A majority of working mothers and fathers feel that it is bad for the family for mothers to be at work. When mothers return to work, they do so in a climate of subtle societal disapproval. And some of the criticism is directed back and forth between working mothers and stay-at-home mothers, each resenting the others’ choice and judging their performance and contribution (Hattery, 2000) (see Figure 3-9)
3-1d. The Parent as Worker
The stage in the life cycle when parenting usually occurs is a time of concern with being productive. Most adults find their means to this goal in one or both of the two channels of parenting and work. However, the two are often in competition with each other, as parents try to navigate work and family life and try to do both well.
About two-thirds of mothers with children younger than age six are currently employed outside the home; nearly 80 percent of mothers of school-aged children are working—41 percent of them full time. This is an increase of more than 10 percent over the previous decade, with the sharpest increase being for married women in two-parent families with children younger than age six. There are several reasons for this increase in the number of working mothers:
· Increased costs in rearing children and living expenses
· An expanded economy with the creation of new job opportunities
· Earlier completion of families, so women are younger when their children start school
· Reduced amount of time needed for housework
· Better education of women
· Expectations of a better lifestyle
· Changes in basic attitudes toward roles, with new social perspectives
3-1e. The Parent as Consumer
· With inflation rates that increase every year, the real buying power of modern families continues to decline. Economic survival with the multiple material demands and expectations of our time has been a major factor in establishing the two-working-parent family structure.
· A good deal of the family income is devoted to rearing children. Children at one time were considered to be an economic asset—more available workers in a rural, self-sufficient family—but must now be considered economic liabilities. Recent statistics show it costs well over $250,000—depending on the family’s income—to raise a child, with a whopping $32,000 spent in just the first two years (Lino, 2013). That figure is just for basic household expenses from birth through age 17. This is an increase of more than 20 percent since 1960. (The estimates include providing for basics of food, shelter, clothing, transportation, and medical care plus an annual inflation rate.) College demands many more thousands of dollars for tuition and expenses, with annual increases far outstripping the inflation rate. Note that these estimates cover only the basics—no piano lessons or summer camp.
· When both parents work outside the home, a large proportion of income pays for child care. Child care is one of the most significant expenses in many working families’ budgets, particularly for low-income families, often exceeding costs for food and even housing. Although there are variations by region or city or type of care, the annual cost of care for one child ranges between $4,100 and $10,920, with the average being over $6,423 per preschooler; costs for infant care are much higher, with a 2013 report indicating that the cost for full-time infant care in a child care center was greater than a year’s tuition and fees at a four-year public university in the same state (Wood & Kendall, 2013). The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services considers 10 percent of a family’s income to be a benchmark for affordable care, yet most families pay a far greater percentage (see Figure 3-14 and Figure 3-15). In some cases, mothers find that nearly all their additional family income is spent on child care, plus the purchases necessitated by employment—additional clothing, transportation, and food while away from home. In this case, continuing employment is probably either for maintaining career continuity or for personal fulfillment.
3-1f. The Parent as Community Member
· With the increasing complexity of modern life, a growing number of family functions have been taken over by community institutions and organizations: education by the school system and recreation and entertainment by the Y and other clubs as well as the church, which has often expanded its purely religious function. There are as many organizations as there are interests in any given community. The community itself has become more highly structured as groups of people coming together have dictated more rules, legislation, and decision making—public and private. But institutions and organizations do not run themselves; community members have many demands placed on them for their time as volunteers and for their money and other supportive efforts. Parents are asked to support the organizations that benefit their children as well as themselves.
· It would not be unusual to find a week where families are asked to bake cupcakes for the PTA carnival, spend an hour staffing a booth at the carnival, driving children to and from the church junior choir practice, assisting children in magazine sales to aid the Y in getting new uniforms for the basketball team, coaching the team, making telephone calls to remind others about a local environmental group meeting, and soliciting funds door to door on behalf of a local branch of a national charity—as well as turning down several requests to participate in similar ways for other organizations (see Figure 3-17). For some parents who must work several jobs to make ends meet, there is enormous pressure to still find time to involve themselves and their children in the community or else be seen as not participating fully within the community. The wider the age range of the children, the broader and more fragmenting are the demands on parents. Most parents today face constant tension between outside demands on time and energy and the amount available for personal and family needs.
3-1g. The Parent as Educator
· Perhaps the role for which parents feel most unprepared is the role of educator, used here to mean guiding and stimulating the child’s development and teaching the skills and knowledge that children need to eventually become effective adults in society. Nevertheless, families teach their children from the time they are babies and continue to teach them what they consider important throughout their life in the home.
· They first teach responses, personal hygiene habits, safety rules, and how to be friendly and polite. And schools expect parents to teach certain skills to children before they enter school and then offer support, encouragement, and opportunities to practice as children continue their education. As other institutions take over many of the family’s educative functions, the primary tasks of parents are the socialization of their children to the values held by the family as well as assisting and monitoring children’s development as learners and providing preparation for schooling.
Roles Parent
s Play
3
–
1a. The Parent as Nurturer
The nu
rturing Encouraging, supporting, caring, nourishing. role encompasses all the
affectionate care, attention, and protection that young children need to grow and thrive.
This implies caring for the physical needs of children before and after birth, but perha
ps
the greatest needs for healthy development are emotional support and caring. Being a
nurturer is the parent’s primary role in providing a psychological environment of warm,
emotional interaction in which the child can thrive (see Figure 3
–
1). Nurturing
involves
most of the family’s developmental tasks, as listed in Figure 3
–
2. Researchers have found
important correlations between warm and responsive parenting in infancy, including close
physical contact between parent and baby and attention to needs, and
the development of
attachment The strong, affectionate, mutual tie formed in the first two years following birth
and enduring over time , which is defined as the strong, affectional, mutual tie formed in
the two years following birth and enduring over tim
e (see Figure 3
–
3). Attachment is felt to
be critical to optimum development in every other aspect of development. The basis for
differences in behavior and development related to attachment may be that a positive
attachment relationship offers the child a
secure base from which to venture forth to
explore the world and learn how to interact. Older, school
–
aged children with whom
teachers work are still the product of the quality of that earlier attachment.
3
–
1b. The Parent in Adult Relationships
Parents are people first, and there is evidence that those who are fulfilled and contented as
individuals are better able to function effectively as
parents than those who are
disappointed in their personal lives. It is evident that the support one parent gives to the
other facilitates the development of the parenting role as well as optimizing conditions for
nurturing the child. Forty
–
eight percent of
mothers report that their spouse or partner is
the primary source for emotional support for parenting. Although the primary adult
relationship may be with a marriage partner or cohabiting adult, the adult’s life may be
crisscrossed with a network of adult
relationships
—
parents, friends, and former spouses.
In fact, many parents also help arrange for their own parents’ health or living conditions
and must make complicated arrangements with former spouses to share custody and
negotiate financial matters. The
relationship with one’s child is an extremely important
relationship, but it begins in the context of relationships with other adults.
Before an individual becomes a parent, there is first a relationship with another adult. One
of the demands on a parent
is to foster the continuance of that relationship or of another
that may have replaced the original relationship.
Roles Parents Play
3-1a. The Parent as Nurturer
The nurturing Encouraging, supporting, caring, nourishing. role encompasses all the
affectionate care, attention, and protection that young children need to grow and thrive.
This implies caring for the physical needs of children before and after birth, but perhaps
the greatest needs for healthy development are emotional support and caring. Being a
nurturer is the parent’s primary role in providing a psychological environment of warm,
emotional interaction in which the child can thrive (see Figure 3-1). Nurturing involves
most of the family’s developmental tasks, as listed in Figure 3-2. Researchers have found
important correlations between warm and responsive parenting in infancy, including close
physical contact between parent and baby and attention to needs, and the development of
attachment The strong, affectionate, mutual tie formed in the first two years following birth
and enduring over time , which is defined as the strong, affectional, mutual tie formed in
the two years following birth and enduring over time (see Figure 3-3). Attachment is felt to
be critical to optimum development in every other aspect of development. The basis for
differences in behavior and development related to attachment may be that a positive
attachment relationship offers the child a secure base from which to venture forth to
explore the world and learn how to interact. Older, school-aged children with whom
teachers work are still the product of the quality of that earlier attachment.
3-1b. The Parent in Adult Relationships
Parents are people first, and there is evidence that those who are fulfilled and contented as
individuals are better able to function effectively as parents than those who are
disappointed in their personal lives. It is evident that the support one parent gives to the
other facilitates the development of the parenting role as well as optimizing conditions for
nurturing the child. Forty-eight percent of mothers report that their spouse or partner is
the primary source for emotional support for parenting. Although the primary adult
relationship may be with a marriage partner or cohabiting adult, the adult’s life may be
crisscrossed with a network of adult relationships—parents, friends, and former spouses.
In fact, many parents also help arrange for their own parents’ health or living conditions
and must make complicated arrangements with former spouses to share custody and
negotiate financial matters. The relationship with one’s child is an extremely important
relationship, but it begins in the context of relationships with other adults.
Before an individual becomes a parent, there is first a relationship with another adult. One
of the demands on a parent is to foster the continuance of that relationship or of another
that may have replaced the original relationship.
