Tired of following grammar “rules” that don’t make any sense? It will probably astound you to know that these rules you think you have to follow aren’t even real rules. They’re myths; legends passed on from generation to generation of confused writers. You don’t have to be a victim anymore.
MYTH 1: YOU SHOULD NEVER SPLIT INFINITIVES
We’ve already addressed this one more in depth. There’s nothing wrong with splitting infinitives. It’s a silly old rule made up by silly old men to make the lower class look, well, silly. Splitting an infinitive is acceptable, as long as:

It preserves the integrity of the sentence,
It does not change the meaning of the sentence, and
It does not violate a rule in the style guide you are following.

MYTH 2: ENDING A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION IS WRONG
A great speaker and writer were once lectured for ending his sentences with prepositions. He responded, “Madam, this is arrant pedantry up with which I will not put.” That speaker? Winston Churchill. Dig under the layers of sarcasm, and you will discover his point: if you go out of your way to not end a sentence with a preposition, you create an awkward, clumsy sentence. Following that line of thought, you would have to eliminate:
You don’t know what you’re talking about.
What are you up to?
What are you waiting for?
The rule does apply to prepositions at the end of the sentence that is redundant; that is, it repeats the thought that the phrase before it left off. Hence “Where are you at?” is the same thing as “Where are you?” The “at” is redundant of “where,” so it is incorrect.
MYTH 3: YOU SHOULD NEVER SPLIT VERB PHRASES
Splitting verb phrases (should definitely leave, will probably divorce) is not only correct, it’s also an often attractive stylistic choice for a writer. One of the most important things you as a writer can do is change the structure of your sentences around to add some spice. Throwing in some splits will liven up flat writing. Just be sure to avoid awkward splits:
He’s fixing the car that he had just five days ago bought.
MYTH 4: YOU SHOULD NEVER START A SENTENCE WITH “AND” OR “BUT”
The rule about starting sentences with “and,” “but,” “or,” and other connecting words applies to sentence fragments. Novice writers will tend to slap on a period at the end of a thought and start a new one with a connector, but that new phrase isn’t a complete sentence. For example:
I took my sister to the prom. But just the one time.
Grammatically, the phrase “But just the one time” is incorrect; it doesn’t have a subject and verb. In this case, starting a sentence with a connector is wrong. However, the rule doesn’t apply to all sentences. As long as you follow the connector with a complete sentence (subject and verb), it is perfectly acceptable.
I’m a lumberjack. And I’m okay.
MYTH 5: CONTRACTIONS ARE NOT TO BE USED IN FORMAL WRITING
Writers tend to avoid using contractions, fearing that they will be seen as too conversational and informal. Instead, these writers will write out the whole word — cannot, do not, I will let us, and it is, etc. — rather than the contractions, believing they will be viewed as more formal and professional. This misconception is one that should be abolished. Your words should be chosen based on how they affect the rhythm, length, and pace of the sentence. Often, writing out the whole word or phrase instead of the contraction makes the sentence too clunky and cumbersome to read.
I cannot lie to you, dear; I did not go to the doctor like I should have done. Do not worry; we will get the problem fixed. In the meantime, let us forget the oozing scabs and cuddle.
This is a good example of slow, awkward writing. Oozing scabs aside, does it sound more “formal”? No. It just makes it hard to read. The poor spouse of this leper would probably rather hear:
I can’t lie to you, dear; I didn’t go to the doctor like I should’ve done. Don’t worry, we’ll get the problem fixed. In the meantime, let’s forget the oozing scabs and cuddle.
I would, however, advise her against the cuddles.

There are a lot of people out there telling you how you should and shouldn’t write. Truth is, they don’t care how well you write, they’re just interested in selling you a book or getting hired as a writing coach. Well, I don’t have a book to sell, and I wouldn’t coach anyone fool enough to hire me, so I can tell you the truth. (Note to self: Get a book to sell and stop insulting potential clients.)
With that in mind, I’ll dispel the 4 most destructive writing rules for you and give you one you can always count on.
Avoid passive voice.
Passive voice is a tool. You wouldn’t tell a mechanic to avoid using a 7/8” socket or a taxi driver to avoid using the windshield wipers, would you? Every sentence form has a place, and passive forms are no exception. When the object is more interesting than the subject, or the subject is flat out unknown, it’s time to break out the “to be” verbs and get sedentary.
Be concise.
Brevity is the soul of wit, right? Well, unless you’re Douglas Adams. (Pro tip: You’re not.) You could call the late author of the inappropriately named Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy a lot of things, but “concise” would be pretty far down the list, just below “Fishman” and “alive.” He’s also sold a lot more books that you’re likely to. Same goes for Mark Twain, Dave Barry, and Neil Gaiman. Some people’s style is concise, others get good when the going gets long.
Omit needless words.
(I must point out that this is not the same as the preceding item, which would be sort of a rip-off. ) A lot of people really hate Strunk & White. I’m not one of them, but I can see why. This “rule” has inspired some of the worst examples of writing advice I’ve ever seen. You wouldn’t believe the atrocities committed against literature in Strunk’s name. The problem lies in the word “needless.” Does it mean grammatically needless? Semantically? Need varies from writer to writer, sentence to sentence. Taking a string of words out of context and condemning some as unnecessary is just barbaric, especially when you’re just parroting advice someone else gave. Don’t sweat over every adjective for fear of zombie-Strunk’s scornful judgment. Just write.
Write what you know.
Let’s face it, most people are. I certainly am. So you don’t know enough to write interesting material. That’s why Drizzled and I came up with an exciting writing technique: research. With this clever trick, you can find out new things and write about those! Better advice would be “Know what you write.” Chances are, most of your readers are already pretty familiar with eating Cheetos and watching Friends reruns in your underpants. Why not introduce them to something new?
And the final golden rule…
Think for yourself.
While all of the above is great advice, they are terrible rules. Sure, they may work 90% of the time. Sure, they may get you out of most situations. But as you grow as a writer and hone your craft, your style will develop until you no longer need a checklist beside your manuscript. The thoughtful and attentive writer will have internalized the above rules and thousands more but will realize when best to apply them and when to defy them.